How heavy-marijuana smoking ruined my life, and how quitting saved me!
By An Anonymous Poster
“It’s my opinion that smoking weed is an escapist activity. When stoned, the world slows almost to a halt, and the pressing issues of the day simply don’t hold emotional sway anymore. It’s not that you ‘forget’ about being fired from your job, it just doesn’t upset you because other things are now making you happier. With weed, your partner leaving you can be quickly and easily remedied by smoking a fat bowl and watching T.V. Put simply, pot is both a narcotic, and a serotonin-booster. You begin to develop a new serotonin-standard that will need to be met, lest anxiety take over.
So, let’s say you’re like me- devastated by a recent break up and crippled by loneliness. You have a demanding job, you’re trying to do well in school, and desperately trying to hold onto something of a social life, all at the same time. Not only does depression loom, but you’re stretched thin and have no time to commit to personal-wellness. Weed is the perfect escape. It’s a quick, efficient way to decompress, and shut out all the stressors. It works marvelously for a while. Then, you run out of pot. Since you spent all your time/money getting high, you haven’t made any life-changes which will off-put the imminent depression/anxiety. Maybe you think “if I only had the time to learn how to meditate,” “if I only had the money for a therapist,” “if only I had time/money to take a vacation.” But, you don’t have that time or money, because again, you spent your money on weed and when you’re weren’t working/going to school, you were getting high.
And so the cycle goes. Your tolerance increases fast, meaning you’ll have to sink more and more money into the drug if you want to continue to reach your happiness-standard. There are still no developments on changing your life in tangible ways, because getting high is now the only way you can logically deal with your emotions. But now you start to notice residual effects when you’re sober- it’s like a permanent hang-over that keeps you groggy, unfocused, and thinking about weed 24/7. You begin to realize- ‘this is an addiction,’ but it’s too late. You’re in the cycle, and it’ll need to get really, really,bad until you’ll have enough motivation to face the world without marijuana. It’s simply too efficient at boosting serotonin, and again, your brain now expects it.
It got really really bad, I smoked 5 times a day, 7-days a week, for 2 years. I no longer recognized myself- my moral compass ceased to exist. I found myself scouring the disgusting carpet for weed crumbs, sneaking nugglets from my friends when they weren’t looking, lying to my parents about needing more money, and having panic-attacks when I couldn’t find weed. Everyone noticed. My friends would mention their observations to me, but ultimately left me to spiral, and I lost touch with all of them. Even if an opportunity would arise to hang-out with them, or do anything proactive other than what I was specifically obliged to do, I would usually choose to instead go get baked alone.
I’m not sure exactly what it was, but at some point I turned the corner, and I could see that the suffering from weed-addiction had completely overshadowed all the other problems in my life, problems which had become irrelevant in the face of this substance-abuse. I called my mother, and explained everything. Luckily, I had loving and supportive parents to turn to, and in the end it was their efforts that gave me the confidence to quit. In alternating turns, they lived with me for about 2 weeks- staying up late with me, watching movies with me, calming my nerves, driving me around, and ultimately relieving all the stressors they possibly could. Even though I’ve never been particularly close to any of my family, this somehow did the trick! It wasn’t without tears or anxiety attacks, but somehow I got through the first 2 nights, sober. Then I watched the days fly by, 5, 10, 15! I began to lose that feeling of emotional vulnerability- and felt control over my moods finally returning. Everyone noticed the change in my disposition, even when I didn’t at first. I now had money to buy the things I really wanted (renting an art studio, buying a nice guitar amp, etc.) and I finally had the time to improve my life (taking a sewing class, learning to meditate, starting a band, etc.) On top of that, on day 11 of sobriety, I was asked out by a beautiful girl that I had, had my eye on! I can assure you this wouldn’t have happened if I was still the hazy, baggy-eyed stoner I had been previously. I even reconnected with my friends, who immediately acknowledged the positive change in my demeanor. It wasn’t easy, and even though marijuana alone wasn’t solely what brought me down to such a low point, it was certainly the chief catalyst for keeping me there, and locking me into my lifestyle”.